To the man sitting in my place of employment today, somehow you managed to ruin an already terrible day. That takes skill, guts and a sense of superiority so low that you were willing to throw it at me with no thought to how your action would be taken.
Today started with problems. And then they started piling up. They started adding quick, and without a strong leader in the building, the entire day would have gone to hell. You didn't see the three new people I had working on my shift, you didn't see the two shelves of product fall on my employees heads, you didn't see all of us running around working as fast as we could to get our business through. No, you saw only 30 seconds of my day and decided to judge my entire career on those 30 seconds.
There was a man sitting next to you who was sleeping in our lobby, something that is completely against policy. Our policy is also to ask the person to wake up, let them know the policy and then ask them to leave if they further refuse to comply. That's my job to make sure they do, not yours. I politely woke him up, asked him to wake up or leave, explained the policy to him when he argued, and told him I would be asking him to leave if he continued to sleep. As I walked away from him, already frustrated with the way things are going, you simply made it worse. You didn't even have the guts to tell me to my face what you thought, you said it under your breath while I passed, I'm sure assuming that I wouldn't stop and confront you about it.
"Wow, you're better fit to manage a preschool than run this place." To which I asked you to repeat it and you did, this time looking me in the eye. You didn't defend me, like a patron should to another customer who is causing a disturbance...No, instead you attacked me. You proceeded to tell me, verbatim, "You clearly don't know how to kick someone out of here correctly, I don't know what you think you're doing managing people." Then you proceeded to tell me that you had no tolerance for such things and that if it had been you, you would have told him to leave, not given him a second chance. Well sir, that's your company policy, not mine.
What was in your words was a whole slew of other things. By implying I should be working with children rather than "people," you are attacking me as a woman, assuming that instead of being capable of managing a team, I should be working with children. So much was hidden in that meaning alone. As a woman, I deal with sexism constantly, but you sir, had no business talking to me like I'm inferior and have no real sense of leadership because I'm a woman.
In those few seconds in which you doubted my entire existence, you left me doubting my entire purpose. I've been in leadership many, many years, and like everyone else, I have my opportunities, and I still have a lot of learning to do. I'm sorry that I was "tolerant" of a situation you thought I should have been forceful with, but that is the policy I know and stand by, and I will make no apology that you found it (or me) to be "soft" or "weak."
What bothers me the most, aside from treating me like I'm an inferior child, was that you validated what the other customer was doing by invalidating me. By calling me out in front of the customer I was trying to take care of, you made it impossible for him to respect me enough to leave peacefully. Why would he listen to me when you, a policy abiding customer, was verbally questioning me, making me look like a weak, disrespect-worthy manager?
So thank you, again sir, for making me question what I do, how I do it, and why I do it. I really do hope that the next time you feel the need to judge everything about someone's leadership style by a thirty second interaction that indeed, had absolutely nothing to do with you and your leadership style, please, keep the words in your head where they belong. If that is truly how you feel, then I am truly sorry for you sir. I am truly sorry you live in such a small world that you feel the need to put people in their place, degrade inferiors and raise yourself up by bringing everyone else down.
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