Sunday, March 25, 2007

A Crack in the Wall

And then sometimes there's a crack in the wall that you didn't even think twice about before, and suddenly you realize that it's not really all that dark and stormy outside...in fact, theres quite a bit of sun...you just have to find the steps to get there.

And that's where hope begins to set in; hope for a brighter tomorrow that only God knows what is in store for that day.

Only One Way Out.

There is one room, there are several doors and a few roads leading to those doors. You feel led through a couple, but when you get to the threshold, the door slams shut in your face. Then, all the other doors disappear, and your left with one door, the door you've been dreading and refusing to go through. That's the only way out of the room, and it's the one that leads into the cold, dark, stormy night that so many people get lost in. Or, theres always the floor that your standing on now; the one that seems to be pulling you in further and further into a pit of quicksand...and just when you think you can't sink any further, you do. And you keep sinking until all that's left is one little airhole, and that's just the one you don't want to go through.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

The Very Long, Rocky, Narrow Road

When you reach the bottom of the valley, and there's quick sand, what do you do? If you try to move, you know you'll just keep sinking further and further into the pit. If you cry for help, the wrong person might come to the rescue. If you just stay there, the right person or opportunity might just come along. But what happens when it's night, and there is no one, and there are no ropes to pull you out? How do you face tomorrow knowing that the same thing is just going to keep happening? How do you find hope through all the muck, and how do you keep praying that a knight will come along who isn't afraid of the danger within?

Why is each glorious mountain backed by three valleys other than the one we just got out of? Why does it seem like everytime a good thing happens, or begins happening, that it's backed by three or four disappointments or struggles? Or that that thing falls apart altogether? Why do we hold onto what we know can not be or can not happen, and just deal with whatever frustration, confusion, and hurt it brings? Why do we keep hoping when there really isn't much hope to be had?

Because life is a journey filled with mystery, adventure, and excitement. All those fit on this path we're all placed on, and the things we experience and the places we stop at along the way are all part of this strange odyssey. They're all meant to teach us something, and though that something may be clouded over by many dark and stormy days, the sun will shine through again, by the grace of God.

But what about the people? How do we decipher who the protagonists are and who the antagonists are? We meet people along the way, they may even come part of the way with us. But no matter who we meet, they always seem to go their own way eventually. We are left wondering what we did to push them away, and we are left in chaos and confusion. We come to a crossroads, and they pick the other way, even when they told you they would travel the trail with you, and they don't look back. But does that mean that they never will? Does that mean that somewhere along on their road, it doesn't come back and meet the one we're traveling? And how do we know if we should let them back on, if and when that time comes? How do you know who to trust, and who not to trust? What makes me the most frustrated is the immature, indecisive, and unauthentic people that seem authentic, genuine, caring and trustworthy. Trustworthy. Wow, for the first time that word just hit me for what it really means. To be worthy of trust, trust being unable to doubt that persons intentions and capabilities.

But what makes someone untrustworthy? Or what makes us doubt them? What makes people let us down when we do trust them? Is it that they have wounds that go so deep that they're just trying to heal them in all the wrong ways, or is it that they're willing to settle because they're not willing to wait for us to be ready? What causes a person to make you think they're everything you ever needed in a trustworthy person and let you get to know the "true" them, and then they take off this magical mask, turn their back, run the other way and say "Look! This is who I really am!" Why did they have to say those things that meant so little, and were pointless to say? What made what they had to say so much more believable than everything you've heard in the past? Why did God even put them in our lives if it was going to cause us not to trust?

Because God works in these amazing ways that teach us the lessons we need for the rest of the journey. People come and go as they please. Decisions are made about you that you have no idea about, and people hurt you without even knowing it. Troubles come and go, and eventually, you find yourself "pushed to the limits." Thank God only He himself knows the limits that you can be pushed to. They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but is that true? It says that we are to cast our cares upon Him; what do you do when you do that, but your faced with the problem that caused the burden day after day, and when your reminded of that problem, the burden comes back? And what if we still feel led to wait, hope, and dream?

There you stay, stuck in the quick sand, unable to move. You were fighting a battle, your army deserted you, you chose a path, you climbed into the valley, and now your sinking. There's no where to go, it's pouring rain, it seems as if day will never come, and your left STUCK. All the memories of your life flood your mind with useless thoughts, and the days that you got to "bask in the sun" seem a world away. You remember when you felt like you were soaring, little things made your heart swim, and it seemed like you could never come down from your little cloud. Life seemed...memorable. But now that your stuck, in a situation that seems hopeless, pointless, and unfruitful, aren't those little dreams and aspirations just a little naive and silly?

But for some reason, those silly, stupid, petty hopes and dreams are what keep you hoping now. Yeah, you may be stuck and sinking further and further; but just when your ready to give it all up, God will send someone, with rope and strength, to pull you out of the shadowy mire, and back out into the sun and beautiful valley. And maybe, just maybe, they'll be willing to help you climb to the top of the mountain again, and journey with you into the valley on the other side.