I love Shrek. Everyone knows this about me. I love it. I love the idea of a princess in waiting and the most unusual, crazy/weird combination of the ogre riding up on the donkey to rescue her. I laugh just thinking about it. I laugh because I feel like that is the fairytale now. The unusual and unexpected becoming the extraordinary. It's like all the stories we hear of the princes coming to carry the princess away from the tower and win her heart is real life now, that's what we really live with. Hello? Look around you at how many people just say "He just came and swept me off my feet, and I was instantly in love." or "there she was, standing in the room, and I just knew."
For some, yeah, this is reality and it works. For others, it's what I like to call flippant dating. People meet, or have known each other and decide "hey, lets date" and they do, and a week into their relationship, the "I love you's" have come and gone, and they're planning their wedding and naming their kids. And then a few months go by and they break up, both hurt, bitter, angry, broken hearted, etc. Do you get my drift? Think about it. Just think about it. I can name five relationships that I know of off the top of my head that are just like this. So I'm going to vent a little about both parties and express my opinion. Because this is something I'm quickly becoming VERY passionate about.
Women: Okay, so being a woman, I think I know what a lot of us feel. When we get to about 20, 21 we start thinking a lot about our lives to come. It's called our twenties. We start thinking about the husband, the house, the kids, the college funds. We try to start our lives the way we want our futures to become. We unlock that stupid door in our tower and let anyone and everyone come in. We want the attention, we want to hold the auditions for Mr. Right, and we're not willing to just wait. Well why in the hell do you think your heart keeps getting broken??? YOU are putting yourself out there, to every single guy that glances your way, sends you the right text message. God forbid the man take you on a few dates and takes his time pursuing you. In your mind, you should be walking down the stupid aisle on your first date, never mind letting him romance you a little bit. "Why would I want flowers? I want a ring dummy!" Am I being harsh? Yes! But look at yourselves for a minute and tell me I'm wrong! In the book Captivating, John and Stasi Eldredge talk about the three parts of a woman's soul: Every woman has beauty to unveil, every woman wants to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and every single woman, young, old, whatever....every single living woman wants to be romanced. So, what does this mean for the here and now for single women who aren't getting what their heart desires? It doesn't mean that because ONE man says ONE thing that he's Mr. Right. It means (in the words of a dear friend of mine) to stay in the freaking tower and wait for your Shrek! For crying out loud! Stop letting yourselves be used, hurt, rejected, manipulated and drug alongside the road to heartache and let the man of your dreams find a way to romance you! Wait, wait, wait!
Men: I'm going to take a deep breath before I start.
Okay. So here's the deal. Stop being desperate. Stop stringing girls along. Stop with the "maybe's" and the "well, I just don't know's" and the "I'm just not ready for that's" and freaking make up your minds! Okay, I'm speaking on behalf of a good friend of mine who just got really hurt by this. Men (notice I'm being nice and not calling you boys??)- When you talk to a girl, kiss her, treat her like you want to DATE her, and then decide that eh, kisses don't mean commitment, guess what....to us they do! When your "between" two girls because you don't have the balls to make up your mind and date either one or the other, and then just throw one to the side and then don't say anything to her, you have no idea how much that hurts her. To her, she was in the running. Somehow, the other girl won. How does that make the girl that didn't get picked feel? Worthless. Not good enough. Not beautiful. Not worth the fight. It makes her feel like everything you ever said to her was a lie, and if it really was a lie coming from you, how is that supposed to make her feel when some other guy, who is actually going to take the time to treat her right, says those exact same things? How is she supposed to react when he does things the right way? Stop telling women you love them when you hardly even know what kinds of movies or books they like! Stop planning your future with them when your not even sure what you next move in your career or school is going to be. Stop leading women on in a "for sure" life when you aren't even sure you want that type of life. Start acting like men, who strive to look for the women, who search far and wide for the women of their dreams. Stop looking randomly through your old facebook friends that you haven't talked to in years and email the first one that looks nice and tell them you never stopped thinking about them. How are you supposed to think that they are the EXACT SAME WAY they were when you saw them YEARS ago??? Seriously? I'm not even the same person I was six months ago, let alone a year or two ago. In John Eldredge's book "Wild at Heart", he talks about the three things that make up a man's heart: Every man wants a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue. Now, I'm not saying go after the women who need rescuing. No, they need to rescue themselves first, because if they don't and ya'll don't work out, you're going to do nothing but hurt them even further and create more problems for them. But fight the battle for the beauty. Fight for her heart. Not just for a dinner date and a kiss that means nothing, but FIGHT for her. Show her you're willing to break down walls and fight a dragon for her. Show her your not some pansy knight in shiny expensive armor who just wants to get the trophy princess. Fight the battle. Live the adventure. Save the princess and knock down the door!
So, I apologize for being harsh, but I'm so sick of these things. I've seen so many of the people I care about most hurt by these very things. Hurt, jaded, bitter, angry, distraught and scared for life over things that could have been avoided. And I can promise you that I don't have all the answers, but I do know how a lot of womens minds work. And I can tell you how the heart works. And hurts. Just think a little bit about what I've said. That's all I ask.
