Crap in the Garden

Crap. In its literal and figurative sense, it's in each of our lives every day, whether we like it or not, and there's no way to get away from it. But what we choose to do with it is what can make or break a good day.

I was having a conversation with a friend recently, who was having a bit of trouble in their life. They explained to me that they know they are a good person, but there's just this little part of them that has a dark side, and sometimes they just wish that side could take over. They explained that that dark side has been birthed by all the crap they've been put through their entire life, and all the lies they've allowed themselves to believe. It would just be easier if they could give in and just let the darkness take over them instead of just getting hurt by those they care about all the time. This is what followed.

Life gives us crap. All of us. And by this age in our lives, we all have a lot of it, whether it's from parents or peers or boyfriends and girlfriends, past or present, or brothers or sisters or coworkers or pastors or teachers or whatever else might be. We have all been hurt in some way or another by most, if not all, the people we love and care about. But it's what we do with it. If we're willing to take the risk, and take the good in our lives and let that rule us, then the crap doesn't have to either win or lose; it can help. Think about this: My stepmom has one of the most beautiful gardens I've ever seen in my life. I mean, she spends hours upon hours primping the plants and pruning them just right so the flower grows this way, or the vine goes that way. I'm not a gardening person at all, but my gosh! I love our backyard in the late spring/early summer. It's quite a sight to see, let me just say that. Anyway, I remember one time walking in the backyard to ask her something and smelled one of the most hideous smells I've ever smelled. What makes plants grow? Fertilizer. What makes fertilizer? Manure. Poop. Crap. Compost. Nastiness. But do plants and flowers and vines and gardens grow and turn gorgeous without it? Not really. You can get knock-off stuff to make plants seem vibrant and beautiful, but nothing does the trick like fertilizer.

So what can we do with all the built up crap in our lives? Well, first off (I'll try not to throw in all the psychological junk, I'm just trying to take thoughts and share them with the unwanting world) we can take the crap in our lives and learn from it. Take it to a whole other level and instead of dwelling on why so and so hurt us so bad, and why such and such had to happen such and such way, dwell on what you can take from it, the positives, and figure out what to do with it. Treat the positives like the nutrients the soil takes from the fertilizer. The rest is garbage.

Second, let it build you up, not down. It's interesting how ugly things turn into something beautiful. One of my favorite sermons by Erwin McManus was entitled "Beauty" and it dealt with how horrible and terrible things can turn into something glorious and fruitful. Like the death of Jesus. It was a terrible, ugly, hideous thing....but when he rose three days later, it was beautiful. And he did it so we may have that beauty too.

It's amazing what we can learn from our past. We can learn to love more, to love others, to love life, to love God more, to love heaven more. But we can also learn to hate, to suffer, to lie, to cheat, to steal, to lose all sense of hope, faith and joy. We can learn to not care to the point of throwing ourselves in harms way, which really, is just testing God to see if he will smite us on the spot or love us through to the end.

Gardens require fertilizer. Life requires crap. We can become something beautiful, if we're willing to deal with the crap in healthy ways and learn from it what we can't be taught through anything but experience. We can make the ugly into something beautiful.

Jesus died....Wait, wasn't he supposed to rise again?

It's Easter Sunday. The eggs have been found, the kids are all dressed up, casual churches are putting on their Sunday bests and putting their best foot forward provide their church with a top notch service. But for how many was this week an "if I have time to go to church, I will," or a "I didn't even know it was Easter until on Palm Sunday they announced the Easter services?" I know for me, this was pretty much the case. I didn't even know we had entered into the preparation of the Easter time until about two weeks ago when I realized Easter was in a couple of weeks. But even then it was in the back of my mind for the most part.

It's sad to think that a day that marked the most important day in the history of mankind (and especially Christianity?) can be put to the side so easily. To know that this was the day Jesus overcame death so we could have life. So we could have salvation through the blood He spilled. I can't say how many times I've decided it was easier to just not go to church because I was tired, or because I didn't have a church to go to...but to forget about it altogether, on such a miraculous, beautiful day? That kind of breaks my heart a little bit. Maybe today is a day to give our hearts totally and and completely back to Jesus, in a way we never have before. Maybe today is the day to turn from all the spiritual unrest and burdens we've been carrying around for days, months, years, and remember what Jesus put himself on that cross for; you and me.

This song has been on my heart the last few days. It's kind of interesting because for the last few weeks, I seem to wake up with a different worship song in my head for that day. I love this song because of the metaphor of the ashes turning to beauty. The metaphor and symbolism of that is breathtaking. Maybe today, we can forget the ugliness of the world, and embrace the beauty of what Jesus did. Maybe today, we can remember how to be thankful for the ultimate sacrifice Jesus gave for the world, even people who were (are?) opposed to him, and who judged him for being blameless. Maybe today, we can choose to turn our ashes into beauty.

At the foot of the cross
Where grace and suffering meet
You have shown me Your love
Through the judgment You received
And You've won my heart
And You've won my heart
Now I can

Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

At the foot of the cross
Where I am made complete
You have given me life
Through the death you bore for me
And You've won my heart
And You've won my heart
Now I can

Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross