When I was in my senior year of high school, I came across a quarter at Savemart that clearly had a "W" on one side and an "8" on the other...W8...or rather...."wait..." This became my motto over the next year, as I thought this had been a sign from God and an answer to prayer regarding something I was facing at the time. It was a clear sign to wait on God.
Looking back on that now, it's silly, yet, strangely still true. I waited...and boy did I see. I saw what God was protecting me from. And after years of waiting, I can finally see what God was leading me toward.
The week of 9/11 changed me, as it changed the whole world. My parents and I were sitting in a hotel in Vancouver, WA when the planes hit and the whole world changed. I was twelve years old, old enough to know the world wasn't safe, not old enough to know what shattered dreams looked like. We went to Seattle two days later, and I immediately felt at home. I remember turning to my dad and saying "Dad, when I grow up I'm going to live here. And I'm going to work for Starbucks." Oh the dreams of a child...
Yet, here I sit in my half boxed up apartment, no wall-hangings and packing peanuts on the floor. Its another late night of packing and cleaning and preparing. A month from today, I'll be sitting in my apartment in Seattle, three days into my new job...nearly 14 years after saying those words to my dad. Somehow at twelve years old, I knew what I wanted more than I thought I did at 18.
Psalm 46:10 says to "Be still and know that I am God..." So many times in my life, I have been "still" and waited for God to move...and then thinking that God couldn't possibly mean something else than what I was asking him for, I acted too abruptly and either found myself in a world of hurt or a world of "oops." As a maturing adult and Christian, I have come to recognize when something is God or when it's not. And learning that being still means being active in prayer, yet still in action.
When this whole Seattle adventure started this time, it really was quite unexpected. Lets back up to March. I started a 70 day coffee fast in regard to another dream I thought I had "waited" on God long enough for, and thought that fasting for it, God would surely grant it. I set it up so my fast would end on the day I landed at Sea-Tac, and waited for the flood gates to open. Even looking back just two months ago to when this was, I don't know what I thought would happen. But whatever it was, wasn't happening.
What I can tell you that did happen, was as soon as my feet hit the tarmac, I took a deep breath, looked around and thought, quite not of my own will, "well, I'm finally home." I didn't think much of it at the time, but the more and more I explored the city and talked to people and experienced the landscape, it really did begin to feel more and more like "home," a concept that, much to my disappointment, I've never ever felt in the Valley.
When I left Seattle, I started to formulate a 2-year plan of how to get finances in order, get done with school, and move up when I was "stable and ready." The day after I came home, I got the call from my cousin that there was an opportunity for me to move up. I started the ball rolling by talking to my boss and looking into transferring. After that, literally every ball has fallen into place.
Now, that's what I call waiting. I had long forgotten this was a dream of mine. Dreams of far off places, a husband and kids, and so many other dreams along the way have taken root in my heart, and I truly forgot I even had this dream. Yet here it is, and I couldn't be more content.
If I've learned one thing in this whole thing, its that specific prayer is REAL. It WORKS! Now, does that mean that because you pray specifically that it will always come to pass and God will bless it? Nope, not saying that at all. BUT....from the moment that a seemingly impossible situation began to seem possible, I felt from that moment that it was what I was supposed to be doing. So I prayed specifically for wisdom and a clear and open door; and it was there. Then I started job hunting, and prayed specifically for a job in coffee. Who are the only companies I heard back from? Coffee companies. Then I started interviewing, and I prayed specifically for Starbucks to work out, and that they would be able to match my pay (or better), offer benefits sooner than the normal year, and that I'd be able to be near my house. Every single thing I prayed specifically for? Done and done, check check.
There is no part of my being that believes I did this...no, I, Liz Doss, did not create this perfect plan and work everything into place. My charisma and past achievements did not get me this job. There is only one way that everything worked out literally perfectly...because there is only one perfect being, and that is God. In my wildest dreams, I couldn't have asked for this situation to be the way it is....When God says he will provide "[peace that surpasses all understanding,]" he's not joking...he's serious. Because he's God. Hello.
While there is no doubt in my mind that I am doing what's right, I of course have my moments of doubt and panic. The "what if's" start outweighing the truths. My biggest fear is the other dreams in my heart...what if I'm giving up on those because I'm taking this step toward another? What if I'm making the biggest mistake of my life? What if it doesn't work out once I'm there? What If I'm really supposed to be here instead? What if what I've been looking for has been in front of me this whole time and if I go to Seattle, what if I truly give it up for good? What if instead of taking a once in a lifetime chance, I'm missing the chance of a lifetime?
But then I remember Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart" (AMP.) Serving coffee in Seattle was the secret petition of my heart, the desires are yet to come. Only He knows what I truly desire and want in my life.
I have peace in my heart that I am finally done waiting. And that my dreams are finally coming true. I am finally beginning my life. And I have never been this excited and at peace than I am in this moment. And I'm so excited to see what He does next.
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