At a Crossroad

I'm finding myself at a serious crossroad right now. It occurred to me a couple of weeks ago that the reality of things, considering the economic climate and the state of the California college system, is that I may not in fact be able to finish school next year. Which to me, means yet one more failure to add to my list. The hard part of this is, as much as I'm grateful to have a job at least, I can't stand being there anymore. Starbucks has been my home for four years, but I really can't stand being there anymore. My manager sat me down a couple of weeks ago and told me that she wants to start preparing me for an assistant store manager (ASM) position as soon as the summer gets started. According to her, this doesn't necessarily mean I'd be promoting in the next 6 months, but it means I'd be taking the necessary steps to start putting my name on the plate of potentials around the district so other managers know who is who in the district. At the time, I told her that, as much as I'm honored that I could even do such a thing, that my main focus in life is to finish school. But as I look at this looming possibility of not transferring next year, I can't help but consider taking it. Here is my catch-22 though; If I take a job as an ASM, assuming one comes up, this means I work a guaranteed 40-hour work week, with a range of shifts primarily as a mid-shift (9-5). There goes my options of going to school, whenever that may be. On the other hand, I could just stay a shift and while my life away doing the same thing as I do now, hating every minute of....like I do now. The other option is to find a better job. By now, I would hope that I'm qualified for a 9-5 job that I could not necessarily enjoy, but just do. But once again, there goes my chance of finishing school. Which once again, leaves Starbucks as my only option. But Starbucks is a joke. It's not a career, its a "bottom of the foodchain" job. As one of my co-workers said yesterday, "Instead of flipping burgers, we pull shots." Which is so true. And I'm nothing as long as I work at Starbucks. But who knows, things may turn around and Fresno or Sacramento may end up accepting transfer applicants and I may get to finally have my college education. This is the part where I have to turn it over to God, something I'm not good at. I like "being in control" because I know that I can decide how things turn out. But who am I kidding, we are never in control. God always is. But he desires for us to trust him with it regardless. In all circumstances. Which as a human, I seriously suck at.