Learning to Fly

I read an article recently about one of the coolest wildlife discoveries I think I've ever heard of. It's about the wildlife of Antarctica, and their survival techniques. Most of the living creatures in Antarctica are microscopic creatures that survive using cool tricks only God could think of. Anyway, one of the creatures is a nemotode worm. In Antarctica, which is already the coldest place on Earth, the winters are severely cold and dry, which are not good conditions for even these native Arctic creatures to live. So what they do is expel all the water out of themselves ("essentially freeze-drying themselves" as the article says) for the winter, and just float around kind of in a comatose state until the winter leaves and they are able to come to moisture again. Once the moisture returns to the air, they soak up the water like a sponge and basically revive themselves again. Uh, that's kind of incredible and awesome. (If your a nerd like me and want to read the article, it's:http://www.ouramazingplanet.com/2177-weird-wildlife-real-animals-antarctica-penguins.html)

Now, in times like right now, that's kind of how I feel; like there really isn't anything going on right now, and I'm just floating along. I've done absolutely nothing with my educational career, I've changed my major, oh, six times? Seven? Now I finally found something that I've wanted to do my whole life, I just figured it out too late and it's taking baby steps to get there.

My high school had its graduation the other night. It made me realize that I've been out of high school for five years...and done absolutely NOTHING with my life. I changed jobs and was saved from making the biggest mistake of my life....but for four years now, I've been doing the exact same thing: working at Starbucks, taking classes, figuring out what to do next. I've wasted the equivalent of what a high school or (normal) college student spends doing what they're supposed to be doing....and the whole time I've been sitting on my ass doing...NOTHING. And it all leads back to that one single, stupid decision I made when I graduated: Not to take out student loans, go to COS and all that other crap that went on. I "followed my heart" and "went after my dreams" and where did it get me? Living on my own, working at Starbucks, taking yet even more classes at COS and not even going to a real school. I was talking to someone about my class I just finished, and they made the comment that it didn't even sound like a real accredited college course. Well, of course not. It's COS. It's as though I've spent the last ten years in high school.

 When they asked us in our senior year where we saw ourselves in five years, I said married with a college degree living down in LA. Um.....not one of those things is even close to being accurate, obviously. I feel like one of those worms in the arctic; just floating along, waiting for the winter to be over and to be able to feel alive again. But it seriously feels like this winter of my life is never going to end. I've been waiting for God's plan...for five years. This can't seriously be all there is, right?