Limbo

Once upon a time, there was a girl who worked hard, very hard, for everything she had going for her. All she wanted was to be successful to herself, her parents, and God. She wanted to make a difference. She wanted to know how to live life to its fullest potential. She wanted to know happiness. So she worked hard at her school. She worked hard at working at activities in high school so she could go off to college, get a career, and get a life.

She had friends. Only a close group, with not too many yet not too few, who loved her and who she loved above all else. She always put her friends above her work, yet somehow got all her work done too. Her friends were her world. Her friends were her life. Her friends were who would stick by her. Her friends were everything.

Her last year of high school, she found another part of herself she had never let out before; her heart. She let herself love. She let herself be vulnerable. She let herself believe that she could be happy to give up everything she had worked toward for something that she thought she wanted more; Love. In reality though, she was only lying to herself.

Months passed, love flourished, and she chose love over dreams. Dreams that didn't matter in the light of what she had found. Her love grew and the love for her grew, until love was abundant and overshadowed everything. Every once in a while, she would recall the dreams she had given up, and would be sad. But she would convince herself eventually, and be equally convinced by her love, that she had made the right choice; that those dreams were still attainable, just maybe not as soon as she wanted. Love was truly the right choice. And eventually - sadly - it became her only choice.

Her friends were all gone now, living their lives and doing what they wanted - without her. She had given up the few people that meant the world to her. That were her lifeblood. Wherever they were, she wasn't. She wasn't encouraged by love either to go chasing after them and find them. As far as she knew, they were lost to her, and she was lost to them, forgotten in the wind and blowing further and further away.

But then one day, something changed. The love broke and the world shattered. All that had been certain - a wedding, a life, a happiness, a finality to her plans..... it was all gone. The tomorrow that had been certain had been swallowed up by the monster of selfishness, and she was all alone, with no one to turn to, nothing to do, and no attainable dreams.

Her friends came back, and her dreams rekindled in her heart. She knew that all that work she had done had actually meant something anyway. She was just taking the long way there. But yet, there was still something very desolate in her heart. She had no fire anymore. No drive. There was no point.

Years rolled by. Nothing changed. Everyday when she would wake up, she would roll over and wonder if today would be good or bad, if life would start happening again. Every night when she went to bed, she would wonder if tomorrow would bring pain or joy. The bad outweighed the good. She realized quickly that there was no point to making any plans for life, because those plans always found a way of building her up, only to break her down a breath later. She saw those around her gain success and happiness, spouses and children, dreams and wonders. And everyday she wondered when something, anything, would happen to her again.

She is stuck in Limbo.