To the man sitting in my place of employment today, somehow you managed to ruin an already terrible day. That takes skill, guts and a sense of superiority so low that you were willing to throw it at me with no thought to how your action would be taken.
Today started with problems. And then they started piling up. They started adding quick, and without a strong leader in the building, the entire day would have gone to hell. You didn't see the three new people I had working on my shift, you didn't see the two shelves of product fall on my employees heads, you didn't see all of us running around working as fast as we could to get our business through. No, you saw only 30 seconds of my day and decided to judge my entire career on those 30 seconds.
There was a man sitting next to you who was sleeping in our lobby, something that is completely against policy. Our policy is also to ask the person to wake up, let them know the policy and then ask them to leave if they further refuse to comply. That's my job to make sure they do, not yours. I politely woke him up, asked him to wake up or leave, explained the policy to him when he argued, and told him I would be asking him to leave if he continued to sleep. As I walked away from him, already frustrated with the way things are going, you simply made it worse. You didn't even have the guts to tell me to my face what you thought, you said it under your breath while I passed, I'm sure assuming that I wouldn't stop and confront you about it.
"Wow, you're better fit to manage a preschool than run this place." To which I asked you to repeat it and you did, this time looking me in the eye. You didn't defend me, like a patron should to another customer who is causing a disturbance...No, instead you attacked me. You proceeded to tell me, verbatim, "You clearly don't know how to kick someone out of here correctly, I don't know what you think you're doing managing people." Then you proceeded to tell me that you had no tolerance for such things and that if it had been you, you would have told him to leave, not given him a second chance. Well sir, that's your company policy, not mine.
What was in your words was a whole slew of other things. By implying I should be working with children rather than "people," you are attacking me as a woman, assuming that instead of being capable of managing a team, I should be working with children. So much was hidden in that meaning alone. As a woman, I deal with sexism constantly, but you sir, had no business talking to me like I'm inferior and have no real sense of leadership because I'm a woman.
In those few seconds in which you doubted my entire existence, you left me doubting my entire purpose. I've been in leadership many, many years, and like everyone else, I have my opportunities, and I still have a lot of learning to do. I'm sorry that I was "tolerant" of a situation you thought I should have been forceful with, but that is the policy I know and stand by, and I will make no apology that you found it (or me) to be "soft" or "weak."
What bothers me the most, aside from treating me like I'm an inferior child, was that you validated what the other customer was doing by invalidating me. By calling me out in front of the customer I was trying to take care of, you made it impossible for him to respect me enough to leave peacefully. Why would he listen to me when you, a policy abiding customer, was verbally questioning me, making me look like a weak, disrespect-worthy manager?
So thank you, again sir, for making me question what I do, how I do it, and why I do it. I really do hope that the next time you feel the need to judge everything about someone's leadership style by a thirty second interaction that indeed, had absolutely nothing to do with you and your leadership style, please, keep the words in your head where they belong. If that is truly how you feel, then I am truly sorry for you sir. I am truly sorry you live in such a small world that you feel the need to put people in their place, degrade inferiors and raise yourself up by bringing everyone else down.
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
Waiting And Seeing
When I was in my senior year of high school, I came across a quarter at Savemart that clearly had a "W" on one side and an "8" on the other...W8...or rather...."wait..." This became my motto over the next year, as I thought this had been a sign from God and an answer to prayer regarding something I was facing at the time. It was a clear sign to wait on God.
Looking back on that now, it's silly, yet, strangely still true. I waited...and boy did I see. I saw what God was protecting me from. And after years of waiting, I can finally see what God was leading me toward.
The week of 9/11 changed me, as it changed the whole world. My parents and I were sitting in a hotel in Vancouver, WA when the planes hit and the whole world changed. I was twelve years old, old enough to know the world wasn't safe, not old enough to know what shattered dreams looked like. We went to Seattle two days later, and I immediately felt at home. I remember turning to my dad and saying "Dad, when I grow up I'm going to live here. And I'm going to work for Starbucks." Oh the dreams of a child...
Yet, here I sit in my half boxed up apartment, no wall-hangings and packing peanuts on the floor. Its another late night of packing and cleaning and preparing. A month from today, I'll be sitting in my apartment in Seattle, three days into my new job...nearly 14 years after saying those words to my dad. Somehow at twelve years old, I knew what I wanted more than I thought I did at 18.
Psalm 46:10 says to "Be still and know that I am God..." So many times in my life, I have been "still" and waited for God to move...and then thinking that God couldn't possibly mean something else than what I was asking him for, I acted too abruptly and either found myself in a world of hurt or a world of "oops." As a maturing adult and Christian, I have come to recognize when something is God or when it's not. And learning that being still means being active in prayer, yet still in action.
When this whole Seattle adventure started this time, it really was quite unexpected. Lets back up to March. I started a 70 day coffee fast in regard to another dream I thought I had "waited" on God long enough for, and thought that fasting for it, God would surely grant it. I set it up so my fast would end on the day I landed at Sea-Tac, and waited for the flood gates to open. Even looking back just two months ago to when this was, I don't know what I thought would happen. But whatever it was, wasn't happening.
What I can tell you that did happen, was as soon as my feet hit the tarmac, I took a deep breath, looked around and thought, quite not of my own will, "well, I'm finally home." I didn't think much of it at the time, but the more and more I explored the city and talked to people and experienced the landscape, it really did begin to feel more and more like "home," a concept that, much to my disappointment, I've never ever felt in the Valley.
When I left Seattle, I started to formulate a 2-year plan of how to get finances in order, get done with school, and move up when I was "stable and ready." The day after I came home, I got the call from my cousin that there was an opportunity for me to move up. I started the ball rolling by talking to my boss and looking into transferring. After that, literally every ball has fallen into place.
Now, that's what I call waiting. I had long forgotten this was a dream of mine. Dreams of far off places, a husband and kids, and so many other dreams along the way have taken root in my heart, and I truly forgot I even had this dream. Yet here it is, and I couldn't be more content.
If I've learned one thing in this whole thing, its that specific prayer is REAL. It WORKS! Now, does that mean that because you pray specifically that it will always come to pass and God will bless it? Nope, not saying that at all. BUT....from the moment that a seemingly impossible situation began to seem possible, I felt from that moment that it was what I was supposed to be doing. So I prayed specifically for wisdom and a clear and open door; and it was there. Then I started job hunting, and prayed specifically for a job in coffee. Who are the only companies I heard back from? Coffee companies. Then I started interviewing, and I prayed specifically for Starbucks to work out, and that they would be able to match my pay (or better), offer benefits sooner than the normal year, and that I'd be able to be near my house. Every single thing I prayed specifically for? Done and done, check check.
There is no part of my being that believes I did this...no, I, Liz Doss, did not create this perfect plan and work everything into place. My charisma and past achievements did not get me this job. There is only one way that everything worked out literally perfectly...because there is only one perfect being, and that is God. In my wildest dreams, I couldn't have asked for this situation to be the way it is....When God says he will provide "[peace that surpasses all understanding,]" he's not joking...he's serious. Because he's God. Hello.
While there is no doubt in my mind that I am doing what's right, I of course have my moments of doubt and panic. The "what if's" start outweighing the truths. My biggest fear is the other dreams in my heart...what if I'm giving up on those because I'm taking this step toward another? What if I'm making the biggest mistake of my life? What if it doesn't work out once I'm there? What If I'm really supposed to be here instead? What if what I've been looking for has been in front of me this whole time and if I go to Seattle, what if I truly give it up for good? What if instead of taking a once in a lifetime chance, I'm missing the chance of a lifetime?
But then I remember Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart" (AMP.) Serving coffee in Seattle was the secret petition of my heart, the desires are yet to come. Only He knows what I truly desire and want in my life.
I have peace in my heart that I am finally done waiting. And that my dreams are finally coming true. I am finally beginning my life. And I have never been this excited and at peace than I am in this moment. And I'm so excited to see what He does next.
Looking back on that now, it's silly, yet, strangely still true. I waited...and boy did I see. I saw what God was protecting me from. And after years of waiting, I can finally see what God was leading me toward.
The week of 9/11 changed me, as it changed the whole world. My parents and I were sitting in a hotel in Vancouver, WA when the planes hit and the whole world changed. I was twelve years old, old enough to know the world wasn't safe, not old enough to know what shattered dreams looked like. We went to Seattle two days later, and I immediately felt at home. I remember turning to my dad and saying "Dad, when I grow up I'm going to live here. And I'm going to work for Starbucks." Oh the dreams of a child...
Yet, here I sit in my half boxed up apartment, no wall-hangings and packing peanuts on the floor. Its another late night of packing and cleaning and preparing. A month from today, I'll be sitting in my apartment in Seattle, three days into my new job...nearly 14 years after saying those words to my dad. Somehow at twelve years old, I knew what I wanted more than I thought I did at 18.
Psalm 46:10 says to "Be still and know that I am God..." So many times in my life, I have been "still" and waited for God to move...and then thinking that God couldn't possibly mean something else than what I was asking him for, I acted too abruptly and either found myself in a world of hurt or a world of "oops." As a maturing adult and Christian, I have come to recognize when something is God or when it's not. And learning that being still means being active in prayer, yet still in action.
When this whole Seattle adventure started this time, it really was quite unexpected. Lets back up to March. I started a 70 day coffee fast in regard to another dream I thought I had "waited" on God long enough for, and thought that fasting for it, God would surely grant it. I set it up so my fast would end on the day I landed at Sea-Tac, and waited for the flood gates to open. Even looking back just two months ago to when this was, I don't know what I thought would happen. But whatever it was, wasn't happening.
What I can tell you that did happen, was as soon as my feet hit the tarmac, I took a deep breath, looked around and thought, quite not of my own will, "well, I'm finally home." I didn't think much of it at the time, but the more and more I explored the city and talked to people and experienced the landscape, it really did begin to feel more and more like "home," a concept that, much to my disappointment, I've never ever felt in the Valley.
When I left Seattle, I started to formulate a 2-year plan of how to get finances in order, get done with school, and move up when I was "stable and ready." The day after I came home, I got the call from my cousin that there was an opportunity for me to move up. I started the ball rolling by talking to my boss and looking into transferring. After that, literally every ball has fallen into place.
Now, that's what I call waiting. I had long forgotten this was a dream of mine. Dreams of far off places, a husband and kids, and so many other dreams along the way have taken root in my heart, and I truly forgot I even had this dream. Yet here it is, and I couldn't be more content.
If I've learned one thing in this whole thing, its that specific prayer is REAL. It WORKS! Now, does that mean that because you pray specifically that it will always come to pass and God will bless it? Nope, not saying that at all. BUT....from the moment that a seemingly impossible situation began to seem possible, I felt from that moment that it was what I was supposed to be doing. So I prayed specifically for wisdom and a clear and open door; and it was there. Then I started job hunting, and prayed specifically for a job in coffee. Who are the only companies I heard back from? Coffee companies. Then I started interviewing, and I prayed specifically for Starbucks to work out, and that they would be able to match my pay (or better), offer benefits sooner than the normal year, and that I'd be able to be near my house. Every single thing I prayed specifically for? Done and done, check check.
There is no part of my being that believes I did this...no, I, Liz Doss, did not create this perfect plan and work everything into place. My charisma and past achievements did not get me this job. There is only one way that everything worked out literally perfectly...because there is only one perfect being, and that is God. In my wildest dreams, I couldn't have asked for this situation to be the way it is....When God says he will provide "[peace that surpasses all understanding,]" he's not joking...he's serious. Because he's God. Hello.
While there is no doubt in my mind that I am doing what's right, I of course have my moments of doubt and panic. The "what if's" start outweighing the truths. My biggest fear is the other dreams in my heart...what if I'm giving up on those because I'm taking this step toward another? What if I'm making the biggest mistake of my life? What if it doesn't work out once I'm there? What If I'm really supposed to be here instead? What if what I've been looking for has been in front of me this whole time and if I go to Seattle, what if I truly give it up for good? What if instead of taking a once in a lifetime chance, I'm missing the chance of a lifetime?
But then I remember Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart" (AMP.) Serving coffee in Seattle was the secret petition of my heart, the desires are yet to come. Only He knows what I truly desire and want in my life.
I have peace in my heart that I am finally done waiting. And that my dreams are finally coming true. I am finally beginning my life. And I have never been this excited and at peace than I am in this moment. And I'm so excited to see what He does next.
Friday, January 2, 2015
You Are Chosen
I don't write much anymore. Not because I don't like it anymore, but I don't have time, and frankly, I haven't had much motivation to. But I find myself finally with something to discuss, a situation a lot of people, women more openly than men, deal with.
The feeling (or lie) of "not being good enough" is not a stranger to anyone. Not having enough money; not being good enough to make the team; not being good enough for the promotion. And a sidebar of that lie is the "I wasn't chosen" lie. I wasn't chosen for the job; I was chosen for the team; I wasn't chosen by (insert name.) "I wasn't chosen" is the lie I've been dealing with for the last 13 years.
Do I know it's a lie? Yes. But do I constantly battle with this lie? Yes! Do I also know how to combat it with scripture and prayer? YES!!
When talking to women my age, the majority of heart ache I hear is a resounding fear or "reality" of not being chosen...as a result of not being good enough. Where do these lies come from? What deep seeded hurt do we have that tells us we aren't worthy of being "the chosen one?" (For lack of a better name.)
I know what it was for me, and not to get into detail, it came from the one person in my life who should have made me feel chosen. But thats in the past. But things from the past are just that....they're in the past. But the deep wounds from the past are what reignite the pains of today and make us believe them all over again, even if we know better this time.
For the past few months, I've been struggling deeply with this. I've never felt worthy of being chosen. And I've never felt chosen. And in reality, I never have been chosen. I've even made the joke that I'm the "game changer" in romantic relationships. Every person, and I mean every person without fail, that I have ever dated - long term or short term - gone on a date with, or flirted with the idea of dating (that "are we or are we not" type of dating) has ended up with the next person they date. And I mean long term commitment or marriage. Every. Single. Person. Yes, I can look at that and say "Oh sure, I dodged a bullet there. Obviously they weren't the one." But is that really how I'm feeling? No. I'm feeling like I didn't meet up to par. Why wasn't I worth the risk? Why didn't he choose me? Why can't I just be good enough? Why is there always someone better?
This, of course, does not mean these feelings only erupt in romantic situations. This can happen anywhere. Family, friends, jobs, auditions, etc. The list can go on. The bottom line is that at the end of the day, we don't feel like we're enough or that we're worth it.
But heres the thing; we may not feel like we are, but there is one person who has chosen you. Who has chosen me. I've found a lot of comfort in this verse the last few months, and in all honesty, I've had to just repeat it to myself time after time after time. And it actually has brought a lot of healing. So I hope it can for you too.
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew [and] approved of you [as My chosen instrument], and before you were born I separated and set you apart, consecrating you; [and] I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." (Jeremiah 1:5 AMP)
The feeling (or lie) of "not being good enough" is not a stranger to anyone. Not having enough money; not being good enough to make the team; not being good enough for the promotion. And a sidebar of that lie is the "I wasn't chosen" lie. I wasn't chosen for the job; I was chosen for the team; I wasn't chosen by (insert name.) "I wasn't chosen" is the lie I've been dealing with for the last 13 years.
Do I know it's a lie? Yes. But do I constantly battle with this lie? Yes! Do I also know how to combat it with scripture and prayer? YES!!
When talking to women my age, the majority of heart ache I hear is a resounding fear or "reality" of not being chosen...as a result of not being good enough. Where do these lies come from? What deep seeded hurt do we have that tells us we aren't worthy of being "the chosen one?" (For lack of a better name.)
I know what it was for me, and not to get into detail, it came from the one person in my life who should have made me feel chosen. But thats in the past. But things from the past are just that....they're in the past. But the deep wounds from the past are what reignite the pains of today and make us believe them all over again, even if we know better this time.
For the past few months, I've been struggling deeply with this. I've never felt worthy of being chosen. And I've never felt chosen. And in reality, I never have been chosen. I've even made the joke that I'm the "game changer" in romantic relationships. Every person, and I mean every person without fail, that I have ever dated - long term or short term - gone on a date with, or flirted with the idea of dating (that "are we or are we not" type of dating) has ended up with the next person they date. And I mean long term commitment or marriage. Every. Single. Person. Yes, I can look at that and say "Oh sure, I dodged a bullet there. Obviously they weren't the one." But is that really how I'm feeling? No. I'm feeling like I didn't meet up to par. Why wasn't I worth the risk? Why didn't he choose me? Why can't I just be good enough? Why is there always someone better?
This, of course, does not mean these feelings only erupt in romantic situations. This can happen anywhere. Family, friends, jobs, auditions, etc. The list can go on. The bottom line is that at the end of the day, we don't feel like we're enough or that we're worth it.
But heres the thing; we may not feel like we are, but there is one person who has chosen you. Who has chosen me. I've found a lot of comfort in this verse the last few months, and in all honesty, I've had to just repeat it to myself time after time after time. And it actually has brought a lot of healing. So I hope it can for you too.
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew [and] approved of you [as My chosen instrument], and before you were born I separated and set you apart, consecrating you; [and] I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." (Jeremiah 1:5 AMP)
I realize God was speaking this to Jeremiah, but really, God speaks this to us all. He has chosen us before we were even born. He CHOSE you. And me. It's a beautiful thing. And it should bring peace.
This is the year.
As I scrolled through my Facebook yesterday morning, my feed was plagued by the "Here's what I'm doing this year!" or "I loved 2014! But I can't wait to make 2015 better! Cheers!" Now granted, New Years is my absolute favorite holiday of the year, because of the fact that it does inspire change and new beginnings. However, I know the people on my Facebook. And I seem to recall what they all said last year too.
The thing is, I know me, and I know what I set out to do last year too. And I don't think I did any of it.
So here's my goal for this year. And, a lot of it is cliché. But as I sit here in my house, almost 26 years old and coming out of one of my least favorite years, I'm eager for the New Year. Because it means I get to put this year behind me and I actually do have the power to make changes this year. So here goes.
This is the year I start taking care of myself.
This is the year I stop letting others influence my decisions.
This is the year I stop being afraid of cutting negative people out of my life.
This is the year I run a half marathon.
This is the year I commit to finishing school.
This is the year I learn more about the Bible and God's promises.
This is the year I truly forgive.
This is the year I take more responsibility.
This is the year I accept reality and stop chasing wild dreams and start accepting reality.
This is the year I become me again.
The thing is, I know me, and I know what I set out to do last year too. And I don't think I did any of it.
So here's my goal for this year. And, a lot of it is cliché. But as I sit here in my house, almost 26 years old and coming out of one of my least favorite years, I'm eager for the New Year. Because it means I get to put this year behind me and I actually do have the power to make changes this year. So here goes.
This is the year I start taking care of myself.
This is the year I stop letting others influence my decisions.
This is the year I stop being afraid of cutting negative people out of my life.
This is the year I run a half marathon.
This is the year I commit to finishing school.
This is the year I learn more about the Bible and God's promises.
This is the year I truly forgive.
This is the year I take more responsibility.
This is the year I accept reality and stop chasing wild dreams and start accepting reality.
This is the year I become me again.
Friday, September 19, 2014
Love Others
Someone very important in my life took their last breath yesterday and went to be with our Lord. He was a man who literally loved every single person he came in contact with. Not only did he love them, he cared for them. If you felt at all that he didn't, or that he had forgotten about you, or that he was too "busy," this simply wasn't true. He just had so much love he didn't know what to do with it.
He spoke of love for other people. When I think of what he taught all of us, I think about when Jesus is discussing the commandments with the Pharisees after they question him to test him. "And He replied to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind (intellect). [Deut. 6:5.] This is the great (most important, principal) and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as [you do] yourself. [Lev. 19:18.] These two commandments sum up and upon them depend all the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 22:37-40, AMP)
He strove to reach the lost and those who couldn't help themselves; he had a heart unlike any other I've ever met; he was a man of God; he bragged on his wife at every chance he had, and spoke of her with pride; they had the type of marriage that stories and legends are made from; he had two amazing, wonderful sons, who listened intently to their fathers words; he was always kind; he was always forgiving. He had a heart after God's own, and he longed to be with Jesus.
When I quickly had to leave my church at the age of 19, he took me into the leadership of his own ministry. When I strayed away, not once, but many times - he was quick to reel me back in and help me realize how precious I was to Jesus. When I dropped the ball, he was forgiving. When I made mistakes, he didn't judge. And I'm certainly not the only person he did this for.
I didn't have words when it happened, and even now, I still don't really know what to say. I can't wrap my head around the fact that I will never again in this life see or hear him preach from a pulpit, or hear him tell the beautiful story of how he and his wife met, or how his dad met his mom (one of my favorite God stories of all time.)
What is hardest for me, though, is how life just seems to keep going. The world (yes, not just the Central Valley, the whole world) has lost an amazing person...yet we just keep going on with life. I personally feel like a part of my world is missing. No, he and I were not great friends, but I respected him, and learned from him. In the last few months of his too short life, those around him have witnessed just how many people he actually impacted - and those are just the people on Facebook. How many more unspoken voices are out there? Someone put it so perfectly, "[He] was a world changer." That he most certainly was. Myself, and so many others, came to know who Christ really is because of him, and he helped so many of us find our way to eternity. Some of us will spend eternity with GOD because he took the time to invest in our lives, had the confidence to speak the bold truth, and had the patience to bear with us when we messed up.
My intent is that I haven't been able to say what I feel in words, so I had to put them in writing. If that means tons of people who I don't even know read this, then that's fine. At the end of the day, our job as a human on earth is simple - love others as we love ourselves. Take a moment to care about someone else today. Have more patience today. Invest in someones life. LOVE someone who may not know what love is.
He spoke of love for other people. When I think of what he taught all of us, I think about when Jesus is discussing the commandments with the Pharisees after they question him to test him. "And He replied to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind (intellect). [Deut. 6:5.] This is the great (most important, principal) and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as [you do] yourself. [Lev. 19:18.] These two commandments sum up and upon them depend all the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 22:37-40, AMP)
He strove to reach the lost and those who couldn't help themselves; he had a heart unlike any other I've ever met; he was a man of God; he bragged on his wife at every chance he had, and spoke of her with pride; they had the type of marriage that stories and legends are made from; he had two amazing, wonderful sons, who listened intently to their fathers words; he was always kind; he was always forgiving. He had a heart after God's own, and he longed to be with Jesus.
When I quickly had to leave my church at the age of 19, he took me into the leadership of his own ministry. When I strayed away, not once, but many times - he was quick to reel me back in and help me realize how precious I was to Jesus. When I dropped the ball, he was forgiving. When I made mistakes, he didn't judge. And I'm certainly not the only person he did this for.
I didn't have words when it happened, and even now, I still don't really know what to say. I can't wrap my head around the fact that I will never again in this life see or hear him preach from a pulpit, or hear him tell the beautiful story of how he and his wife met, or how his dad met his mom (one of my favorite God stories of all time.)
What is hardest for me, though, is how life just seems to keep going. The world (yes, not just the Central Valley, the whole world) has lost an amazing person...yet we just keep going on with life. I personally feel like a part of my world is missing. No, he and I were not great friends, but I respected him, and learned from him. In the last few months of his too short life, those around him have witnessed just how many people he actually impacted - and those are just the people on Facebook. How many more unspoken voices are out there? Someone put it so perfectly, "[He] was a world changer." That he most certainly was. Myself, and so many others, came to know who Christ really is because of him, and he helped so many of us find our way to eternity. Some of us will spend eternity with GOD because he took the time to invest in our lives, had the confidence to speak the bold truth, and had the patience to bear with us when we messed up.
My intent is that I haven't been able to say what I feel in words, so I had to put them in writing. If that means tons of people who I don't even know read this, then that's fine. At the end of the day, our job as a human on earth is simple - love others as we love ourselves. Take a moment to care about someone else today. Have more patience today. Invest in someones life. LOVE someone who may not know what love is.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Definitions
The new year is fast approaching, and as I look back on 2013, the idea of what defines me has really been on my mind and heart lately. How am I defined? What do people first think when they meet me? What puts me in one social category and not another?
I've noticed that what typically defines a person is how they are introduced. Over the years I've been introduced in many ways: "This is Elisabeth, so-and-so's girlfriend" or "This is Liz, she works at Starbucks." Or better yet, "This is Liz." Having no "definition" is almost worse than not being introduced at all! But does that really give someone a good idea of who I really am?
When I look at my life and personally define myself, I could easily say "I'm Liz. I work at Bath and Body Works, I'm studying wedding/event design, and I attend TheChurch at Visalia. I'm a follower of Jesus Christ, I have a dad, step-mom and step-sister, and I live alone with two cats." But really, who am I? Those are all things I do, or am involved in, or take up the majority of my time. But is that really who I am?
What people think doesn't matter. But what people see does. When people meet me, I want them to immediately be able to tell that I'm a follower of Jesus Christ. I don't want them to have any shadow of a doubt that I'm on fire for God. I want to set an example for the people around me. And if I wear a mask around some people because I want to be defined as something different than what I really am, than I want to learn how to take that mask off and never hide behind it again.
I want to live up to being Liz (or Elisabeth if we're being formal), a follower of Jesus who loves God and loves people; who wants to serve in the church for the rest of her life; who wants nothing more than to be a good and faithful servant to a wonderful and gracious King.
That is how I hope to be defined this year.
I've noticed that what typically defines a person is how they are introduced. Over the years I've been introduced in many ways: "This is Elisabeth, so-and-so's girlfriend" or "This is Liz, she works at Starbucks." Or better yet, "This is Liz." Having no "definition" is almost worse than not being introduced at all! But does that really give someone a good idea of who I really am?
When I look at my life and personally define myself, I could easily say "I'm Liz. I work at Bath and Body Works, I'm studying wedding/event design, and I attend TheChurch at Visalia. I'm a follower of Jesus Christ, I have a dad, step-mom and step-sister, and I live alone with two cats." But really, who am I? Those are all things I do, or am involved in, or take up the majority of my time. But is that really who I am?
What people think doesn't matter. But what people see does. When people meet me, I want them to immediately be able to tell that I'm a follower of Jesus Christ. I don't want them to have any shadow of a doubt that I'm on fire for God. I want to set an example for the people around me. And if I wear a mask around some people because I want to be defined as something different than what I really am, than I want to learn how to take that mask off and never hide behind it again.
I want to live up to being Liz (or Elisabeth if we're being formal), a follower of Jesus who loves God and loves people; who wants to serve in the church for the rest of her life; who wants nothing more than to be a good and faithful servant to a wonderful and gracious King.
That is how I hope to be defined this year.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Snow
Snow isn't something I'm too familiar with. I was born in the dead of January, in Colorado. But within months of being born, my mom and dad decided to move to the Central Valley of California. But for as long as I can remember, my mom always missed the snow, and my dad would always talk about it. I grew up wishing for snow, but where we are, it happens about once every thirty years.
When I had just turned ten, I had had enough of hearing about snow. I wanted the real deal. Being a young child, I prayed with my mom and dad every night before bed. And you better believe, every night for what felt like months, but was probably only a couple of weeks, I diligently prayed for the thing I wanted most. Snow.
I don't want to throw my dad under the bus, but in this sense, it's really relevant to the story. One very specific night, I prayed my usual "And God, please make it snow here." And my dad quietly chuckled. I was super offended. He simply replied, "Sweetie, I understand how much you want it to snow, but it just doesn't happen around here. We don't get snow." I believe my reply was something along the lines of "Well, I asked God and God can make anything happen, even snow."
At about 5 am the next morning (January 25, 1999...I remember dates like nobodies business), I woke up to my dad looking out the window and laughing. I got up and looked outside. The ground was white. The cars were white. It was grey and there was something white falling from the sky.
God had made it snow.
I remember three specific things from this day. I remember setting out to make the biggest snowball I could; I remember my rottweiler sticking her head, face first, into the snow and running around completely blindly; and I remember the wonder of knowing that God really could do anything.
This memory came to me today, I don't know why, but maybe just because I've seen God do so many amazing things this last year. But I've never thought about the faith I had during this whole time. I had that pure, innocent, childlike faith that God could do anything, and that anything was possible through him. No one had to teach me that, I had just heard it my whole life and had no problem believing it.
So what changes in life? What makes us turn from that childhood awe of believing (with zero doubt) that God can make anything happen....to a person who has to believe that they believe in God's ability, and often doesn't recognize what God has really done? Now, I've learned that when God answers prayer, he answers it according to His will, not mine. He answers with what he knows is best for me, not what I think is best for me. But I'll be honest, half the time when I ask God for something or to do something, it's almost in passing, and not with real, fervent prayer. I don't doubt that he'll follow through...but do I believe it with my whole heart?
I wish I could answer yes all the time. But maybe because he has shown himself to be faithful so often in my life, I can start making a true effort to pray with purpose. To pray for what is best in my life, not what I want or think I need in my life.
God made it snow in the Central Valley. Anything can happen.
When I had just turned ten, I had had enough of hearing about snow. I wanted the real deal. Being a young child, I prayed with my mom and dad every night before bed. And you better believe, every night for what felt like months, but was probably only a couple of weeks, I diligently prayed for the thing I wanted most. Snow.
I don't want to throw my dad under the bus, but in this sense, it's really relevant to the story. One very specific night, I prayed my usual "And God, please make it snow here." And my dad quietly chuckled. I was super offended. He simply replied, "Sweetie, I understand how much you want it to snow, but it just doesn't happen around here. We don't get snow." I believe my reply was something along the lines of "Well, I asked God and God can make anything happen, even snow."
At about 5 am the next morning (January 25, 1999...I remember dates like nobodies business), I woke up to my dad looking out the window and laughing. I got up and looked outside. The ground was white. The cars were white. It was grey and there was something white falling from the sky.
God had made it snow.
I remember three specific things from this day. I remember setting out to make the biggest snowball I could; I remember my rottweiler sticking her head, face first, into the snow and running around completely blindly; and I remember the wonder of knowing that God really could do anything.
This memory came to me today, I don't know why, but maybe just because I've seen God do so many amazing things this last year. But I've never thought about the faith I had during this whole time. I had that pure, innocent, childlike faith that God could do anything, and that anything was possible through him. No one had to teach me that, I had just heard it my whole life and had no problem believing it.
So what changes in life? What makes us turn from that childhood awe of believing (with zero doubt) that God can make anything happen....to a person who has to believe that they believe in God's ability, and often doesn't recognize what God has really done? Now, I've learned that when God answers prayer, he answers it according to His will, not mine. He answers with what he knows is best for me, not what I think is best for me. But I'll be honest, half the time when I ask God for something or to do something, it's almost in passing, and not with real, fervent prayer. I don't doubt that he'll follow through...but do I believe it with my whole heart?
I wish I could answer yes all the time. But maybe because he has shown himself to be faithful so often in my life, I can start making a true effort to pray with purpose. To pray for what is best in my life, not what I want or think I need in my life.
God made it snow in the Central Valley. Anything can happen.
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