Dissension. It's a word right now that breaks my heart. As believers in Christ, we are called to work together against the forces of evil in the world and work for the development of the Kingdom of God. We are called to live lives in accordance to God and his teachings, and ultimately, to help each other along the way and stand as one.
During the first fight at the Colusium in Gladiator, Maximus (played by Russell Crowe) makes the statement "Whatever comes out of those gates, we have a better chance of survival if we work together. Do you understand? If we stay together, we survive." During the course of the next few scenes, you see man after man leave the circle of many to try to fight his own battle, each falling with the same fate; death. The men crowd in a circle, with their shields raised (for those of you that saw "300" it's much like what they do at the end.) and as chariot after chariot threatens to crush them all, Maximus can be heard shouting "Hold! Hold! As one! Stay as one!" One body, one shild, one defense.
Shouldn't the church be much the same? We are all standing on the same Solid Rock, with the purpose of serving God and others; worshiping; obeying; learning; teaching; loving one another and growing from one another. Look how strong we could be! But as a result of a fallen world, the church we live in today is no longer such a thing as Eden. We must fight to stay strong as ONE wall.
Look at the church like a dam; It is solid, bulit of steele, cement and rock. Impenetrable. Immovable. Unsinkable. It holds trillions of gallons of water with it's strength and does not give way, as long as it is in one piece. But then something creates a scratch. As tides and currents wash over it, it becomes bigger and deeper, under the surface where no one knows about it. Then it becomes a crack, and water starts seeping through, constantly corroding the solidness until one day, the crack becomes a leak, and the dam gives way all together. If the scratch had been seen, and something done about it, could the flood have been prevented?
Of course. Don't you see? As we become stronger in our faith, daily walk with God, and life, and as our churches and bodies of Christ become stronger, we give Satan more of a reason to try to "scratch" us, knowing that as human beings, we have the free will to look at a small situation and let doubt take hold of us. If one member suffers, we all suffer. If one member goes on his own way to find the way himself and secure his own victory, he is forced to fight his way alone; instead of being attacked only on one side while reinforced on the others, he can be attacked on all sides. Satan knows that if just one person begins doubting one simple fragment of truth, that person will eventually let it fester and will turn to another believer for help, wisdom, discernment. But then that person may look at it too with the same doubt. It all boils down to how people react to things, and how much pride we will eventually take on and where we let things go wrong. Satan's plan eventually leads to the doubt of many, and once the leak begins, there is dissension and distrust.
Why can't people let go of their pride and listen to logical reason (not even logical really, but biblical) and realize that they are under attack? If they stand as one again, they could be even stronger than they were before. But how long will it take to fix the crack?
Sunday, April 1, 2007
Sunday, March 25, 2007
A Crack in the Wall
And then sometimes there's a crack in the wall that you didn't even think twice about before, and suddenly you realize that it's not really all that dark and stormy outside...in fact, theres quite a bit of sun...you just have to find the steps to get there.
And that's where hope begins to set in; hope for a brighter tomorrow that only God knows what is in store for that day.
And that's where hope begins to set in; hope for a brighter tomorrow that only God knows what is in store for that day.
Only One Way Out.
There is one room, there are several doors and a few roads leading to those doors. You feel led through a couple, but when you get to the threshold, the door slams shut in your face. Then, all the other doors disappear, and your left with one door, the door you've been dreading and refusing to go through. That's the only way out of the room, and it's the one that leads into the cold, dark, stormy night that so many people get lost in. Or, theres always the floor that your standing on now; the one that seems to be pulling you in further and further into a pit of quicksand...and just when you think you can't sink any further, you do. And you keep sinking until all that's left is one little airhole, and that's just the one you don't want to go through.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
The Very Long, Rocky, Narrow Road
When you reach the bottom of the valley, and there's quick sand, what do you do? If you try to move, you know you'll just keep sinking further and further into the pit. If you cry for help, the wrong person might come to the rescue. If you just stay there, the right person or opportunity might just come along. But what happens when it's night, and there is no one, and there are no ropes to pull you out? How do you face tomorrow knowing that the same thing is just going to keep happening? How do you find hope through all the muck, and how do you keep praying that a knight will come along who isn't afraid of the danger within?
Why is each glorious mountain backed by three valleys other than the one we just got out of? Why does it seem like everytime a good thing happens, or begins happening, that it's backed by three or four disappointments or struggles? Or that that thing falls apart altogether? Why do we hold onto what we know can not be or can not happen, and just deal with whatever frustration, confusion, and hurt it brings? Why do we keep hoping when there really isn't much hope to be had?
Because life is a journey filled with mystery, adventure, and excitement. All those fit on this path we're all placed on, and the things we experience and the places we stop at along the way are all part of this strange odyssey. They're all meant to teach us something, and though that something may be clouded over by many dark and stormy days, the sun will shine through again, by the grace of God.
But what about the people? How do we decipher who the protagonists are and who the antagonists are? We meet people along the way, they may even come part of the way with us. But no matter who we meet, they always seem to go their own way eventually. We are left wondering what we did to push them away, and we are left in chaos and confusion. We come to a crossroads, and they pick the other way, even when they told you they would travel the trail with you, and they don't look back. But does that mean that they never will? Does that mean that somewhere along on their road, it doesn't come back and meet the one we're traveling? And how do we know if we should let them back on, if and when that time comes? How do you know who to trust, and who not to trust? What makes me the most frustrated is the immature, indecisive, and unauthentic people that seem authentic, genuine, caring and trustworthy. Trustworthy. Wow, for the first time that word just hit me for what it really means. To be worthy of trust, trust being unable to doubt that persons intentions and capabilities.
But what makes someone untrustworthy? Or what makes us doubt them? What makes people let us down when we do trust them? Is it that they have wounds that go so deep that they're just trying to heal them in all the wrong ways, or is it that they're willing to settle because they're not willing to wait for us to be ready? What causes a person to make you think they're everything you ever needed in a trustworthy person and let you get to know the "true" them, and then they take off this magical mask, turn their back, run the other way and say "Look! This is who I really am!" Why did they have to say those things that meant so little, and were pointless to say? What made what they had to say so much more believable than everything you've heard in the past? Why did God even put them in our lives if it was going to cause us not to trust?
Because God works in these amazing ways that teach us the lessons we need for the rest of the journey. People come and go as they please. Decisions are made about you that you have no idea about, and people hurt you without even knowing it. Troubles come and go, and eventually, you find yourself "pushed to the limits." Thank God only He himself knows the limits that you can be pushed to. They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but is that true? It says that we are to cast our cares upon Him; what do you do when you do that, but your faced with the problem that caused the burden day after day, and when your reminded of that problem, the burden comes back? And what if we still feel led to wait, hope, and dream?
There you stay, stuck in the quick sand, unable to move. You were fighting a battle, your army deserted you, you chose a path, you climbed into the valley, and now your sinking. There's no where to go, it's pouring rain, it seems as if day will never come, and your left STUCK. All the memories of your life flood your mind with useless thoughts, and the days that you got to "bask in the sun" seem a world away. You remember when you felt like you were soaring, little things made your heart swim, and it seemed like you could never come down from your little cloud. Life seemed...memorable. But now that your stuck, in a situation that seems hopeless, pointless, and unfruitful, aren't those little dreams and aspirations just a little naive and silly?
But for some reason, those silly, stupid, petty hopes and dreams are what keep you hoping now. Yeah, you may be stuck and sinking further and further; but just when your ready to give it all up, God will send someone, with rope and strength, to pull you out of the shadowy mire, and back out into the sun and beautiful valley. And maybe, just maybe, they'll be willing to help you climb to the top of the mountain again, and journey with you into the valley on the other side.
Why is each glorious mountain backed by three valleys other than the one we just got out of? Why does it seem like everytime a good thing happens, or begins happening, that it's backed by three or four disappointments or struggles? Or that that thing falls apart altogether? Why do we hold onto what we know can not be or can not happen, and just deal with whatever frustration, confusion, and hurt it brings? Why do we keep hoping when there really isn't much hope to be had?
Because life is a journey filled with mystery, adventure, and excitement. All those fit on this path we're all placed on, and the things we experience and the places we stop at along the way are all part of this strange odyssey. They're all meant to teach us something, and though that something may be clouded over by many dark and stormy days, the sun will shine through again, by the grace of God.
But what about the people? How do we decipher who the protagonists are and who the antagonists are? We meet people along the way, they may even come part of the way with us. But no matter who we meet, they always seem to go their own way eventually. We are left wondering what we did to push them away, and we are left in chaos and confusion. We come to a crossroads, and they pick the other way, even when they told you they would travel the trail with you, and they don't look back. But does that mean that they never will? Does that mean that somewhere along on their road, it doesn't come back and meet the one we're traveling? And how do we know if we should let them back on, if and when that time comes? How do you know who to trust, and who not to trust? What makes me the most frustrated is the immature, indecisive, and unauthentic people that seem authentic, genuine, caring and trustworthy. Trustworthy. Wow, for the first time that word just hit me for what it really means. To be worthy of trust, trust being unable to doubt that persons intentions and capabilities.
But what makes someone untrustworthy? Or what makes us doubt them? What makes people let us down when we do trust them? Is it that they have wounds that go so deep that they're just trying to heal them in all the wrong ways, or is it that they're willing to settle because they're not willing to wait for us to be ready? What causes a person to make you think they're everything you ever needed in a trustworthy person and let you get to know the "true" them, and then they take off this magical mask, turn their back, run the other way and say "Look! This is who I really am!" Why did they have to say those things that meant so little, and were pointless to say? What made what they had to say so much more believable than everything you've heard in the past? Why did God even put them in our lives if it was going to cause us not to trust?
Because God works in these amazing ways that teach us the lessons we need for the rest of the journey. People come and go as they please. Decisions are made about you that you have no idea about, and people hurt you without even knowing it. Troubles come and go, and eventually, you find yourself "pushed to the limits." Thank God only He himself knows the limits that you can be pushed to. They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but is that true? It says that we are to cast our cares upon Him; what do you do when you do that, but your faced with the problem that caused the burden day after day, and when your reminded of that problem, the burden comes back? And what if we still feel led to wait, hope, and dream?
There you stay, stuck in the quick sand, unable to move. You were fighting a battle, your army deserted you, you chose a path, you climbed into the valley, and now your sinking. There's no where to go, it's pouring rain, it seems as if day will never come, and your left STUCK. All the memories of your life flood your mind with useless thoughts, and the days that you got to "bask in the sun" seem a world away. You remember when you felt like you were soaring, little things made your heart swim, and it seemed like you could never come down from your little cloud. Life seemed...memorable. But now that your stuck, in a situation that seems hopeless, pointless, and unfruitful, aren't those little dreams and aspirations just a little naive and silly?
But for some reason, those silly, stupid, petty hopes and dreams are what keep you hoping now. Yeah, you may be stuck and sinking further and further; but just when your ready to give it all up, God will send someone, with rope and strength, to pull you out of the shadowy mire, and back out into the sun and beautiful valley. And maybe, just maybe, they'll be willing to help you climb to the top of the mountain again, and journey with you into the valley on the other side.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Lost
In church the last couple of weeks, I've been hearing a lot about how your emotional well-being affects your spiritual well being. Honestly, I didn't really believe this...until I experienced it.
It's amazing how when your torn up and broken inside that it's easy to let go of a lot of the things you know are true. Your broken heart tears a hole in your soul, and you begin throwing all the beliefs that you once held so dearly to into that hole. They disappear, and you begin losing sight of who you really are; you treat people differently; you stray from the right path that you know is right and begin putting a mask back on; you put up barriers to those you care about the most and give the impression that you don't care at all; you make people believe that you've given up hope, when really all you've given up is faith; you cause people to wonder what they did, when really it's not what they did but what they didn't do (which was cause the pain in the first place); you act like a typical person, when all your life you've been more than typical; you place a grudge on people that you don't even know, simply because you don't want to let them in; and finally, you end up pushing away the very sources of life that have been calling you to a life of freedom, passion, love, joy, and courage and begin to live a life of apathy, anger, shallowness, bitterness, and jealousy.
These patterns are DEADLY. They rip apart your soul little bit by little bit until one day, your left wondering "Who am I?", when all along, you knew who you were, you were just pretending to be someone else so no one could come in and help.
Why do we do this?
"Because we're human." But that isn't an excuse; it didn't "just happen" that way. We let our focus off of God and began relying on other things, such as people, rather than placing our burdens before Him.
Don't lose yourself just because life throws curveballs; stay to what is true, and believe that God will see you through to the end. If it feels like your world is crashing around you, just remember that when your at the bottom, all you can do is go up. Think of life as a valley between two mountains; when your on top of the mountain, you don't grow (is there any vegetation at the top of Mount Everest?) but when your in the valley, the depths of despair, there is abundant life and vegetation. All you can do is grow, and when you get to the top of the mountain, you don't stop growing, because there is always another valley on the other side.
Don't lose yourself; don't lose faith; don't lose hope. Lose the doubt that causes you to lose these things and BELIEVE.
It's amazing how when your torn up and broken inside that it's easy to let go of a lot of the things you know are true. Your broken heart tears a hole in your soul, and you begin throwing all the beliefs that you once held so dearly to into that hole. They disappear, and you begin losing sight of who you really are; you treat people differently; you stray from the right path that you know is right and begin putting a mask back on; you put up barriers to those you care about the most and give the impression that you don't care at all; you make people believe that you've given up hope, when really all you've given up is faith; you cause people to wonder what they did, when really it's not what they did but what they didn't do (which was cause the pain in the first place); you act like a typical person, when all your life you've been more than typical; you place a grudge on people that you don't even know, simply because you don't want to let them in; and finally, you end up pushing away the very sources of life that have been calling you to a life of freedom, passion, love, joy, and courage and begin to live a life of apathy, anger, shallowness, bitterness, and jealousy.
These patterns are DEADLY. They rip apart your soul little bit by little bit until one day, your left wondering "Who am I?", when all along, you knew who you were, you were just pretending to be someone else so no one could come in and help.
Why do we do this?
"Because we're human." But that isn't an excuse; it didn't "just happen" that way. We let our focus off of God and began relying on other things, such as people, rather than placing our burdens before Him.
Don't lose yourself just because life throws curveballs; stay to what is true, and believe that God will see you through to the end. If it feels like your world is crashing around you, just remember that when your at the bottom, all you can do is go up. Think of life as a valley between two mountains; when your on top of the mountain, you don't grow (is there any vegetation at the top of Mount Everest?) but when your in the valley, the depths of despair, there is abundant life and vegetation. All you can do is grow, and when you get to the top of the mountain, you don't stop growing, because there is always another valley on the other side.
Don't lose yourself; don't lose faith; don't lose hope. Lose the doubt that causes you to lose these things and BELIEVE.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Trust
So have you ever gotten in the car, gotten on a random road, and just driven?
I did for the first time tonight, and it was amazing.
So I've been having trust issues with God lately, which sucks, but it's true.
So I just randomly got in the car and drove out in the country.
I stopped by an orange orchard, turned off the car and looked at the stars. They...were indescribable.
But then I started realizing why I was there.
If God created this amazing earth, all those billions of stars, planets, solar systems, etc....and we never crash into them, but we're all so delicately placed so we don't die, or go into the sun, or hit the asteroid belt...
.....then how can I not trust God with my problems?
It's wierd, for me anyway, that on an everyday basis, I'm willing to trust God (maybe unknowingly) to keep all those things in order....yet I hesitate to trust him with something that doesn't affect anyone but myself really.
So I realized that maybe it's time to fully trust. Why it took a drive in the county to make me realize that, I don't know.
I did for the first time tonight, and it was amazing.
So I've been having trust issues with God lately, which sucks, but it's true.
So I just randomly got in the car and drove out in the country.
I stopped by an orange orchard, turned off the car and looked at the stars. They...were indescribable.
But then I started realizing why I was there.
If God created this amazing earth, all those billions of stars, planets, solar systems, etc....and we never crash into them, but we're all so delicately placed so we don't die, or go into the sun, or hit the asteroid belt...
.....then how can I not trust God with my problems?
It's wierd, for me anyway, that on an everyday basis, I'm willing to trust God (maybe unknowingly) to keep all those things in order....yet I hesitate to trust him with something that doesn't affect anyone but myself really.
So I realized that maybe it's time to fully trust. Why it took a drive in the county to make me realize that, I don't know.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Yes, No, Maybe
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" -Jeremiah 29:11
Everyone has a plan. Some live and breath by it, others simply let it come and go as it will. Some have dreams that, if not fulfilled, can lead a person to despair. Some have wants, or desires that they wish more than anything can be fulfilled with one certain factor. Some have passions that they will give anything to pursue. Some simply feel led to something by God that they can't explain, it just kind of happens. Those to me are the most exciting, simply because things start happening when God totally takes control. Those things turn into your passions, your desires, and you realize how much you can do for God by pursuing those unexplainable dreams.
But what happens when God changes His mind? Actually, does he even do this? You have an unexplainable desire to succeed at something you once thought impossible, or to pursue something that seems so far out of your grasp that it seems unreachable; you begin to lose hope that you really can approach such a challenge. Yet, something still drives you to it. Then just when it seems like your not getting anywhere, -your in a rut, a hole, crossing a hurdle- the thing becomes clear like water. You can see where it's going; you know that it's a God thing because there is no way on earth that it could happen without Him. This dream actually starts becoming reality, and for a short time, your not left dreaming, but living the dream; you don't have to wake up this time.
But then time starts grabbing hold of you and pulling you back to the world you once knew; the euphoria you were experiencing leaves, and your left wondering how on earth you got back to Oz. There's no ruby slippers to bring you home, and your completely lost and bewildered. Something happens that you just can't explain, and your left wondering what went wrong. What was God telling you to do? Were you listening to Him, or your own heart?
It is truly shocking how fast an amazing adventure can turn completely around. You think that your doing exactly what God want's you to be doing; that your following the right things, holding onto the right things, grasping the right ideas. Your living a life you only dreamed of. But then all of a sudden it stops. Your left in the storm and can only see the sunshine on the other side of the street, but there's a lot of darkness between you and that sun.
What the heck happened?
God seemed to be telling you to hold on, to go against all logic, and continue going for it. You did. Things started happening. And then stopped. The question still remains; was it God, or was it you? And when that thing stops, and your on your hands and knees begging God for some clarification, and the dream just stays there, is it because your not truly surrendering, or is it because God is still telling you to go against the odds and hope for whatever it is that you desire?
And if you truly are stuck in a storm, how do you hear His voice through all the thunder and rain?
Maybe we're not meant to. Because God has a plan, maybe we're meant to be left in the dark in order to keep searching for the Light. Ultimately, this can only be resolved through trusting Him, right? Maybe we've been focusing too much on the outcomes, and not the journey. (I know I've said that before, but it's still just as true.) And even though it hurts beyond belief when that dream does come to an end (or what seems like the end, anyway), the only hope that can be found is that God's plan will only be a benefit to us...it will not hinder us or hurt us....it will only help us grow, prosper, and quite possibly, have a better outcome than we could have originally imagined.
But how do we find God's answers???
Everyone has a plan. Some live and breath by it, others simply let it come and go as it will. Some have dreams that, if not fulfilled, can lead a person to despair. Some have wants, or desires that they wish more than anything can be fulfilled with one certain factor. Some have passions that they will give anything to pursue. Some simply feel led to something by God that they can't explain, it just kind of happens. Those to me are the most exciting, simply because things start happening when God totally takes control. Those things turn into your passions, your desires, and you realize how much you can do for God by pursuing those unexplainable dreams.
But what happens when God changes His mind? Actually, does he even do this? You have an unexplainable desire to succeed at something you once thought impossible, or to pursue something that seems so far out of your grasp that it seems unreachable; you begin to lose hope that you really can approach such a challenge. Yet, something still drives you to it. Then just when it seems like your not getting anywhere, -your in a rut, a hole, crossing a hurdle- the thing becomes clear like water. You can see where it's going; you know that it's a God thing because there is no way on earth that it could happen without Him. This dream actually starts becoming reality, and for a short time, your not left dreaming, but living the dream; you don't have to wake up this time.
But then time starts grabbing hold of you and pulling you back to the world you once knew; the euphoria you were experiencing leaves, and your left wondering how on earth you got back to Oz. There's no ruby slippers to bring you home, and your completely lost and bewildered. Something happens that you just can't explain, and your left wondering what went wrong. What was God telling you to do? Were you listening to Him, or your own heart?
It is truly shocking how fast an amazing adventure can turn completely around. You think that your doing exactly what God want's you to be doing; that your following the right things, holding onto the right things, grasping the right ideas. Your living a life you only dreamed of. But then all of a sudden it stops. Your left in the storm and can only see the sunshine on the other side of the street, but there's a lot of darkness between you and that sun.
What the heck happened?
God seemed to be telling you to hold on, to go against all logic, and continue going for it. You did. Things started happening. And then stopped. The question still remains; was it God, or was it you? And when that thing stops, and your on your hands and knees begging God for some clarification, and the dream just stays there, is it because your not truly surrendering, or is it because God is still telling you to go against the odds and hope for whatever it is that you desire?
And if you truly are stuck in a storm, how do you hear His voice through all the thunder and rain?
Maybe we're not meant to. Because God has a plan, maybe we're meant to be left in the dark in order to keep searching for the Light. Ultimately, this can only be resolved through trusting Him, right? Maybe we've been focusing too much on the outcomes, and not the journey. (I know I've said that before, but it's still just as true.) And even though it hurts beyond belief when that dream does come to an end (or what seems like the end, anyway), the only hope that can be found is that God's plan will only be a benefit to us...it will not hinder us or hurt us....it will only help us grow, prosper, and quite possibly, have a better outcome than we could have originally imagined.
But how do we find God's answers???
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